PLUNGE

I shudder
my eyes focused,
on that treacherous,
lethal tip.
My breath
controlled

then, the plunge.
It seized me in
a peaceful oblivion.
The Thoughts suspended,
in that lifeless sea.
while my forgotten existence,
caged
for the moment.

The fear
The guilt
The despair
tossed into
a nonexistent corner
while the desires
closed out.

My languid soul,
tasting the nothingness,
levitating.

Breathing ever fainter,
the Eyes forced shut
the numbness spreading,
while sleep takes over.

I plunged again and again.
leaving the exposed
holes
in the veins,
to prove
these timeless hours.

I Write

Sitting on that piece of ground,
I write,
in this cold and dry night,
the old tales, still unwritten
Words, in chaos,
through my fingers, spilling on to the
gleaming paper

whirring emotions
stirring the cold fire inside,
Little by little

I write,
with my blistered,
Protesting hands
giving me the warmth,
the painful comfort

While darkness feeds,
there
I can see the stars,
trying painfully,
to steal a look

The images, so bleak
with effot, I try to shape them,
into poetry

Ah, I remember

I have virtually spend my existence,
In a room,
Where the sick bring in there gloom,
And leave with,
Either a flicker of a smile on their face,
Or a solemn
Its-all-over expression
I have had my share of despair.

I remember,
Days
And sometimes nights,
was shaken awake,
Just to be soothed,
And then lulled back
to that uneasy sleep.

When I used to open
Those heavily sedated eyes,
I vaguely recall seeing
Mostly,
That familiar hole,
always dripping
My tears?
Or the cause of it.

I remember
During the months,
That hole slowly blurred,
Faded.
And I left that place,
With the same hopelessness,
With which I had come.

I remember
the stench,
And still
cringe with it.

Wish I could have been
left alone

though the things would not have been any better,
I wouldn’t have been scarred
With Those permanent, agonizing recollections